This Is Your Life
by Chibi Cheesecake
Summary: FINISHED Doma has disbanded, and its three warriors have gone home. They are bombarded with thoughts, feelings, and memories. It is then that they realize they had been home all along.
1. This is Your Life

**Disclaimer:** Amelda and friends belong to their respective owners, not me. Title comes from the Switchfoot song of the same title. I also don't own Switchfoot.

**Authoress notes: **Well, for one thing, for the Doomies to go home, I needed places for them to go home to, y'know? And they're not native Japanese. Dartz is...well, Atlantean. o.O Raphie is French (the magazines about his rescue from the island were in French, as were the gravestones of his family).

Valon, well... He was raised by a nun named Mary, and considering that a vast majority of Japan's population is Buddhist, and a nun named Mary doesn't sound Buddhist, I needed somewhere else for Valon to be from... So then I thought, "...What the heck, Valon can be Australian!" XD; Maybe it's a bias of some sort... My cousin recently married an Australian guy, and I met him and his family at their wedding, and they all had wicked awesome accents and stuff. :P

Amelda is from Some Random Country. X.x They never gave it a name...

So anyway, without further ado, enjoy my first fic on Doma's bikers three. n.n Review, please?

**&&&&**

The employee at the airport's ticket booth paused, looking at the passport of the young man standing in front of him. His was such a mechanical job; but this young man had broken the monotony.

"...You really wish to go _here_, kid?" the employee asked.

"Yes, I do," the young man said impatiently.

"Their civil war ended only four years ago, you know...Things are quite unstable."

"I know that," the man replied, gritting his teeth. "I'm going. I don't have anywhere else to go..."

The employee looked at the man, studying him, something the young man's sunglasses made difficult. "Alright, I see," he said, understanding.

Nearly an hour later, Amelda was settling into seat 16B, a window seat, of course.

He wanted to see it as soon as the plane got close enough... He wanted to see his home.

**&&&&**

Amelda leaned against the wall in the baggage claim area, watching the carousel, eyes searching for his black bag.

Other passengers stood around as well, waiting for their baggage. A brother and sister, obviously bored with all the standing around, broke into a game of tag.

Two rumpled boys with messy, reddish hair joined their game. Except, when Amelda blinked, the two boys were gone.

A little shaken, he retrieved his bag and walked out of the airport.

**&&&& **

He'd gotten on a city bus outside the airport, and, almost reflexively, found himself getting off in a place he thought he would never see again. The curb was piled with dirty snow – it had snowed recently and looked as though it might again in the near future.

Somehow, he ended up in his old neighborhood. It had been four years since the war had ended, and of course reconstruction had begun right away. Signs of construction were everywhere – of course, nothing was being done at the moment. The sun was beginning to set, and work was over for the day.

Amelda walked down the cracked sidewalk, losing his balance occasionally on the jagged concrete.

He glared at the sidewalk as though it were tripping him purposely, and fixed his gaze on it to keep from tripping again. And then a small chunk of metal lying on the ground caught his eye. It looked as though it had once been on a mailbox. Amelda crouched down and rubbed the dirt and snow off the metal, revealing the numbers two, zero, and three.

_A young boy, no older than nine, shouldering his backpack, hopped down the sidewalk. "Step on a crack, break your mother's back," he chanted to himself. He was always so happy in the afternoon after school let out. His teacher was, in his eyes, too cruel to be human. He'd told his little brother horror stories of class with her. It would always end up with his brother clinging to their mother's dress, wailing that he didn't want to go to school.  
_

_The boy turned and skipped up the sidewalk to his home – number 203.  
_

_"I'm ho-!" he was cut off by a reddish-colored blur crashing into him and sending them both sprawling to the floor.  
_

_"Guess what, nii-chan!?" the blur piped up. Now that he'd slowed down, the boy recognized it was his little brother, rather than a redheaded missile.  
_

_The boy smiled indulgently. "What?"  
_

_"It's my birthday today!" the younger boy cried.  
_

_"Oh, really?" came their mother's voice from the kitchen. "Miruko, we had no idea. You really should have told us," she teased.  
_

_The boy, still pinned under his little brother, grinned mischievously. "Wait, Mama...I think maybe he did say something."  
_

_"Yes, maybe once, or twice," their mother laughed.  
_

_"Try the whole month!" the boy laughed, and his brother giggled.  
_

Amelda stood inside the wreckage of the house and looked around. He closed his eyes, and no longer was it wrecked but it was the way it had been the last time he'd seen it. There were the robin's-egg-blue walls, and the cream-colored linoleum of the kitchen. There were the two boys and their mother. She set a cake in front of the little boy, who, grinning from ear to ear, blew out the five candles.

He was still grinning when he opened the present from his big brother – the action figure he'd seen at the toy store and had been begging to have for weeks.

"Hey, you!!"

Amelda was startled from his reverie by a dull pain in his arm.

"Git, ya punk kid!"

Amelda turned to see a construction worker who hadn't left yet, holding a rock in his hand. "This one's gonna be aimed for yer head!" he cried threateningly. Amelda didn't have to be told twice. He turned on his heel and ran, biting back maledictions.

And then a wry smile twisted his mouth as he ran.

He'd just been chased out of his own house. 

**&&&&**

Amelda ran for a while, beginning to regret returning home. But he realized bitterly that there was nowhere else he could have gone.

The sky was getting darker and the air colder, and Amelda still had nowhere to stay for the night. He slowed to a walk, eventually stopping altogether. A little ways ahead was a cemetery. Amelda shrugged, beginning to walk toward it. It's not like he had anywhere else to go.

**&&&&**

A woman happened to be driving past the cemetery just as Amelda was walking in. She shook her head in disapproval. That boy was a hoodlum, plain and simple as that. Hopefully, he wouldn't do something so low as desecrate the graves. She wondered if he knew those other two hoodlums she'd seen before, driving around as though they were looking for something they'd lost...

Also, an elderly couple happened to be walking out of the cemetery just as Amelda was walking in. The woman smiled and her eyes lit up in acknowledgment, recognizing immediately the reddish hair and skinny frame. Crale, that was his name. His father had been a drunk, a n'er-do-well, but his mother was a hard-working, kind woman. She used to exchange recipes with her all the time, and she remembered how well-behaved and sweet her boys were.

And there was one of them, all grown up, and home.

Amelda walked through the cemetery, his boots crunching softly on the snow-covered ground. The sky was darkening rapidly, and Amelda finally removed his sunglasses. If anyone were around, they would've seen his normally expressionless gray eyes betray him, displaying for the world to see the turmoil of emotions inside of him.

Snow was beginning to fall. As Amelda walked through the cemetery, recollections fell from the sky as well.

He read the inscriptions on the graves, names connecting with faces and faces connecting with memories Amelda didn't even know he had.

Ms. Fleming... the kind widow who'd always see to it that Amelda and Miruko had something to eat after their mother had died, despite she was already working hard to feed her own three children.

Amelda suddenly froze, snow gathering in the folds of his black trench coat, which he pulled tighter around himself. The sudden memory of his brother jolted Amelda as though he'd run into a wall, and suddenly butterflies filled his stomach.

What if...?

No, he wouldn't get his hopes up for nothing. Shouldering his bag, Amelda kept walking.

Catherine Elric... Yes, he remembered Catherine. "Who could forget her?" Amelda asked no one in particular, a smirk tugging at his lips. Perhaps deep down she'd been kind, but she was such a demanding, high-maintenance sort of girl.

His smirk grew wider. Her and that Mai would've gotten along, probably. But his grin faded.

Mai... The mention of her name reminded him almost painfully of Valon. What was he doing right now, back in Australia? And what about Raphael?

Amelda shook his head. They were in the past now.

He busied himself, remembering Catherine's older brothers – the twins, Edward and Alphonse. Every boy in Amelda's neighborhood wanted to be just like them - even Amelda himself. They'd left to fight, and that was the last he'd seen of them. Were they dead? He couldn't be sure. The last he'd heard of the twins was that Alphonse had nearly died but Edward had been there to save him, losing his left leg in the process.

Oh, and Christine, that orphaned girl... No one knew her surname. She'd been seventeen the last time Amelda had ever seen her. Christine was the neighborhood's renowned babysitter; she was kind and almost a child herself. Not to mention she was a phenomenal soprano singer.

Amelda shook his head. She'd died so young... But perhaps she went to be with her parents, and she was happy.

Amelda suddenly found himself looking up at the sky, vast and gray like his eyes. He found himself asking a question he'd asked as a child – 'Is Miruko happy with Mom?'

Once again, the butterflies returned to flutter inside his stomach, and Amelda pushed away the hope tugging at his heart.

At least, he tried to. The hope remained, stubbornly, as he approached the last remaining section of the cemetery.

The snow fell faster, the flakes becoming thicker. Snow dusted the gravestones, obscuring the inscriptions.

Amelda was drawn inexplicably to two headstones, sitting side by side. A lamb carved of stone was attached to the smaller headstone. A child was buried there.

Amelda's throat dried out. He swallowed and bent over, rubbing the snow off the inscriptions.

He fell to his knees.

'MIRUKO CRALE' read the smaller grave, '1992 – 1997'

'ARIAL CRALE' was the inscription on the other. '1966 – 1997'

Amelda stared.

Here...They were here... They'd been here, all along.

How...He didn't know how, but 'how' didn't matter.

Amelda looked down at his palms, which were marked with crescent-shaped pinkish-whitish scars. He used to clench his fists so tightly his nails dug into the skin, drawing blood. The cuts he'd made symbolized the anger he'd harbored so long, against himself, against Seto Kaiba, against the world. But now all he had left of that anger were those scars.

Plip. A drop of water landed on his palm, then another, and another. And then Amelda realized it was not water. It was rain, from his stormy gray eyes.

"W-when did I get so weak?" he asked softly, smirking to himself. "They're dead...dead...they always have been...."

Amelda found himself with his forehead resting against his mother's grave, sobbing like a child. He cursed his weakness; he cursed his past mistakes.

"I-It was my fault," he confessed to the silence. "Both of their deaths...

"Mama had left the camp for something," he told the cemetery. "S-she was in danger, I knew she was, but I waited...When I finally went after her, it was too late...

"And Miruko... Oh, God, Miruko... I _handed_ him to them. I handed my brother to Death..."

Unseen figures stood watching Amelda pour out his heart. "He's talking nonsense..." one whispered, the voice lacking it's usual carefree tone.

"Shh," the other chided.

And then suddenly all was quiet, and the two figures turned to watch Amelda, who had been startled out of his crying by a new revelation.

"If it was my fault... Then why did I join Doma?" His eyes widened.

"My God..." he choked out. "I...I was just like them..." he whispered. "We wanted to fix the world, but we became just like everything we wanted to destroy..."

He stared at the ground, his eyes in shadow. "I have nowhere left to go," he said to himself. "I have no one."

"Turn around, stupid!" a voice exclaimed from behind him.

Amelda said nothing in reply. Now he was weak, _and_ crazy. He was hearing voices from the past.

Now he was hearing crunching footsteps. And now he was feeling someone place a hand on his shoulder and turn him roughly. The Someone proceeded to grab Amelda by the front of his shirt.

Amelda was staring straight into Valon's face.

"Y-you're being stupid, stupid!" Valon blurted out. "Stop going on about not having anyone, because there's still us...!"

Amelda blinked a few times, his eyes wide. "Us...?"

Raphael stepped out of the shadows.

Amelda regarded them with suspicion. "I...You...how did you find me?"

Raphael shrugged. "Call it gravitation... And Valon, get off of him."

Valon looked down and realized he was still clinging to Amelda's shirt. "Oh...right."

"You...you two were watching me...?" Amelda asked slowly, still recovering from the shock of having the only two people he could consider friends pop out of the woodwork.

Raphael nodded. "We were going to...erm..."

"We were going to wait for you to finish with your little pity party, but then you started going on about stupid things," Valon finished matter-of-factly, straightening up.

Raphael gave him a Look. Amelda folded his arms across his chest. So, they'd seen him... They'd heard him. They'd witnessed his infinite weakness. "Damn," he mumbled.

"We all went home and threw ourselves pity parties," Valon added, his tone softening. "And then Raph got the idea that the three of us should, well, stick together, and so he tracked me down, and then we tracked you down, and here we are." He finished his narrative with a flourish.

"I...I see," Amelda said.

"So, are you coming with us or not?" Raphael asked gruffly. But it was a pointless question, really; Amelda was coming with them no matter what.

Amelda still seemed taken aback. "Y-you really...I mean, that is to say...You want me to?"

Raphael and Valon were both surprised. They'd never known the redhead to be insecure like this.

"Duh," Valon said. "We've only been telling you that for the past ten minutes..." With that, he reached out his hand and offered it to Amelda. Raphael followed suit.

The redhead swallowed and placed one of his hands in theirs. The other two pulled Amelda up, in more ways than one.

The three of them began to walk from the cemetery, standing shoulder to shoulder. Amelda paused suddenly, then turned back. "I forgot something," he called over his shoulder, walking back to his mother and brother's graves. Amelda set his black back in the snow, unzipping it and fumbling through it. Valon and Raphael watched him curiously, and Raphael suddenly realized what the redhead was getting out.

Amelda drew out a small, battered action figure, with a leg missing. Without a word, he placed the action figure in the snow before his brother's grave.

He got up and ran back to the others, who said nothing. They didn't need to.

Then, suddenly, the laughter of a mother and child.

Raphael and Valon whirled around at the sound and saw, standing in front of the Crale's graves, a woman and a small boy. The two were holding hands. In the boy's hand lay the broken action figure. The two smiled at them.

Amelda turned. "What is it? Why'd you stop?"

Raphael and Valon looked at each other. He couldn't see them...

"It was nothing," Raphael said firmly. "Let's go home." Home...that sounded very nice indeed.

"Only one problem, Raph."

"What?"

"...We don't know where that is yet." A snigger.

"...Shut up, Valon..."

**&&&&**

**Ending notes: **Teehee! All over now. Well, not really. I am considering adding on two more one-shots, one for Raphie and one for Valon. I've got rough ideas of them, but who knows if they'll get written. u.u

Mmkay...well, I think this came out alright... The beginning is kinda bad, and the guy who was throwing rocks at Amelda was like a hick or something. Maybe he lives in Boggy Creek with the Legend...:P (Doubts hardly anyone will get that, but okay.)

Amelda: (glares) I am NOT a crybaby.

Me: (pats him) Of course you aren't, dear.

Oh yeah, I'd like you all to meet my newest muse, the Phantom of the Opera! n.n ... Well, he's very reclusive so...you can pretend you met him. Just...watch for falling chandeliers in the future... (Duhduhduuun.)

Sooo, who caught the Fullmetal Alchemist reference? It was pretty obvious, if you know anything about the show. And I made a Phantom of the Opera reference that was a little less obvious. Oh, and Raphael used the word 'gravitation' because I'm falling in love with the shounen-ai anime series of the same name. :P And the actually definition of the word seemed to fit with the situation.

Anyway, I'll shut up now. n.n;; Baibai ya'll, and thanks for reading!


	2. The Symphony of Modern Humanity

**Disclaimer:** The chapter title is a lyric from Switchfoot's "Adding to the Noise".

**Authoress notes: **Here we go with another chapter of 'This Is Your Life'! It shows Raphie deciding to go find Valon and Amelda in this one. n.n So, yes, next will be a one-shot about Valon. And I'm talking too much... So I'll just shut up and you can read the story. (wink)

...On an unrelated note, how is your 2005 going? Mine has had problems. (nods flatly)

**&&&&**

The other airport patrons did not know what to think of the three strangely-dressed men sitting at a table in the food court, discussing something serious. But the three weren't bothering anyone, so those at the airport didn't bother them.

The airport was the same one that Amelda had landed at the morning before. He was still in his home country, but now Raphael and Valon were with him. The three of them were sitting in the food court trying to determine their next course of action.

"...Well, we can't stay here," Amelda was saying. "There's nothing here for us."

"Um... What about California again?" Valon suggested.

Raphael shook his head. "There are too many things there that are better off forgotten."

"Besides," Amelda added, "it's too hot there."

They lapsed into silence, thinking. "I've got one..." Raphael said slowly. "What about Domino?" The other two looked at him.

"That's where..." Amelda trailed off. Raphael nodded.

"All the way to Japan?" Valon asked skeptically.

Raphael shrugged in reply. "We have the money. I don't know... I just picked Domino because it's the only place where we might actually know some people..."

"Who probably hate us," Valon jumped in.

Raphael shook his head. "I don't think so..." He was thinking of his last duel against the pharaoh. The two had dueled atop a skyscraper, and then the duel ended the building began to collapse. All they'd been able to think about was getting the other to safety.

Valon shrugged. "Maybe I could see Mai again," he grinned.

The other two rolled their eyes, but inwardly Raphael was relieved that Valon was acting like his normal self. He reluctantly remembered the circumstances under which he'd been reunited with the brunette, and how shaken he had been...

"What about you, Amelda?" Valon said suddenly, jerking Raphael from his reverie. "You hate Kaiba, and he lives in Domino."

Amelda sighed and drummed his fingers against the table. "I'm done hating him," he said tiredly. "It wasn't even him... It was all Dartz." He bit back the phrase, "And myself." He knew they'd both tell him it wasn't true, that it wasn't his fault Miruko or his mother had died...

"Besides," Amelda continued. "Kaiba, he... I don't think he's all bad. Of course, he's arrogant and rude, but he's got some good in him. I think everyone is essentially good, deep down. Just... Maybe not everyone was raised in such a way that that goodness could grow."

The other two were staring at him. "...That was stupid," Amelda glowered.

"That was deep, man," Valon shook his head. And it was that brief glimpse into the mind of the skinny redhead that made things okay for the other two. Valon was easing himself back into the protective presences of the other two, and Raphael was convinced that he'd made the right choice in going after them.

**&&&&**

The plane took off, the engine roaring. Amelda shook his head, trying to block out the mechanical growl that reminded him of the sounds of explosions and gunfire. "So," he began, moving onto a different subject and turning to the two sitting to his right. "I'm curious as to how the two of you met up."

Valon had turned away from the window when he'd heard Amelda speak up, but as soon as Amelda finished his question, the brunette turned back and gazed out the tiny window, scooting close to the wall. Amelda looked at him curiously.

"Well, I went to France as soon as Doma disbanded," Raphael began, noting Valon's discomfort.

"Yeah..." Amelda said slowly. He would find out what was wrong with Valon later.

"The first thing I did," Raphael continued, "was go looking for my old house."

**_Flashback _**

"Yes, it's still standing," the woman said, looking curiously from the piece of paper Raphael was holding to Raphael himself. "But I don't know why you'd want to go to that run-down house... No one's lived in it for years."

Raphael nodded and was about to continue walking when the woman's voice interrupted him. "It's going down pretty soon, I've heard."

Raphael paused. "...What?"

"The house. They're demolishing it pretty soon. In two weeks, I think."

Raphael nodded slowly. "I see... Thanks." He began trudging forward, almost with a grim resignation, leaving the woman to draw her own conclusions.

'_He was polite enough_,' she thought. '_But I don't know what on earth it is that he's after... He seemed familiar._' She too began going her own way. '_Where could I know him from...?_'

**&&&&**

Raphael found the door unlocked, it's stained glass windows broken in. It was true, what the woman had said. The place was in complete disrepair, broken into by countless plunderers. As he wandered through the house, Raphael took note of the things missing – Julien's model train set, Sonia's favorite china doll, his mother's pearls, his father's golden pocket watch.

He was not, by nature, aloof like Amelda, wild like Valon, or cruel like Dartz. He had joined Doma to make the world a better place. Every day Raphael spent under Dartz's wing, soaking up his crooked schemes, another piece of his true self disappeared, exactly like the pieces of his old life, stolen and gone forever.

His old life... He thought about Amelda, struggling to keep his brother safe when he himself didn't know they would live to see tomorrow. He thought about Valon, rejected time and time again by foster family after foster family. Raphael thought about his own childhood – loved, protected, sheltered.

Until that fateful night... the waves crashing over him, pulling him this way and that, ripping him away from everything he'd known.

They were all alone, the three of them.

Raphael entered the parlor, and a smile spread across his face for the first time in quite a while.

The baby grand piano was still there. Most likely, the thieves found the instrument too bulky and troublesome to steal. He stalked over to it and sat down at it, idly tapping the keys. It was terribly out-of-tune, but it still played.

He paused, drumming his fingers against his knee, ransacking his brain for any of the old songs he'd learned to play as a child.

Finally one came to him, and he began to play, the notes halting. The longer he played, however, the more his confidence came back, and the parlor was filled with the music. Raphael stared down at the keys, and suddenly he could hear the steady 'tick-tick-tick' of the metronome. His piano teacher stood behind him, occasionally coughing into the linen handkerchief he kept perpetually tucked in his coat pocket. Raphael was probably his least favorite charge. It had nothing to do with Raphael himself – the boy was a fast learner and didn't mind all the practice involved. It was the two terrors that he didn't like.

Raphael could almost hear their excited voices behind him. "Wow, big brother... You're getting really, really good!" Sonia appraised.

"Hey, hey, big brother! Play my song, would you? Please, big brother?" Julien pleaded. His favorite song was "Chopsticks".

And then Madame Giry, the nanny, would come in, ushering the children out to leave Raphael to his lessons.

Heavy footfalls rudely pulled Raphael from his reverie, and he turned to face two men dressed entirely in black. His eyes narrowed and he gave them a stony glare, rage rapidly building up.

The two men stared at him in shock, and then turned to each other. "G-g...It's a GHOST!" they screamed in panic, turning and tearing out of the house.

Raphael stood sharply, the piano bench toppling in the process. He seized a book resting on top of the piano and hurled it sharply to the floor. It skidded across the floor, and everything was silent again.

Raphael sighed. He never used to have a temper. More effects of Doma's poison. Except... Maybe it wasn't all Doma.

His thoughts unwillingly turned a certain quarrelsome brunette, and the redhead with whom he'd often ended up quarreling.

Those thieves... They'd just tried to rob more from his old life. But no more. No more of that.

He clenched his fists. Julien, Sonia, his parents, his persona... They had all been taken from him, and he had done nothing but sit back and watch it happen. But never again.

And so Raphael knew what he had to do – he had to track down Amelda and Valon. Because they were his friends. They were the only people he could trust, the only people he was close to. And he was not going to sit back and lose them forever.

"Do you hear me!?" he demanded out loud, unsure of who he was trying to speak to. "I'm never making the same mistake again!"

The words echoed through the room and bounced back to him.

That was how, with an almost inhuman determination, Raphael began his search.

**_End flashback_**

Midmorning the next day found the three in another airport. They were going to board a connecting flight to Tokyo soon. The three were stretching their cramped muscles. Amelda had found himself unable to get comfortable on the plane, and had slept very little. He was slumped over at a food court table, sipping a large cup of coffee. "When we get to Domino," Valon vowed, "I'm never sitting down again."

"Okay," Amelda shrugged, too tired to wryly and characteristically point out the absurdity of the statement.

Raphael bit back the smile tugging at his lips. It was so wonderful to be around the other two again, even if they were all sore, tired, and currently stuck at an airport.

Amelda seemed to be doing all right, after his breakdown at the cemetery the day before. Valon as well seemed to be recovering from what had happened in Sydney.

Raphael just hoped nothing else would happen that would scare the brunette like that again.

"All passengers boarding Flight 1987 to Tokyo, Japan, may board the plane at Gate A7."

The three looked at each other as the disembodied voice repeated the announcement.

"Crap," Valon gasped, and Amelda stood. The three turned and bolted for the gate, Amelda's coffee cup forgotten the table.

It was time to go home.

**&&&&**

(In groveling position) ....TT Gomengomengomen! I take forever to update, and all you get is this _crapfest_!

...Well, okay, so maybe 'crapfest' is a little strong... But still, I don't like how this one came out. (sighs)

(By the by, it's currently one a.m., so if anything comes out a bit screwy it's 'cause I'm sleepy.)

Now then, time for my excuses for taking too long. I kept finding myself in moods not suited for writing this... v.v I dunno about you, but it's been the weirdest of Januarys over here... Midterms loom on the horizon, so we've been getting lots of work. Which sucks.

And the other thing that's been distracting me... Maki Murakami's 'Gravitation' has wholly and utterly hijacked my brain. v.v A fellow otaku in my social studies class awesomely lent me the entire four-disc box set of the anime. Not to mention I've been gorging myself on Gravi fanfictions. I'm gonna get a terrible cavity from all this fluff, I tell ya.

(sighs) But I love my boysex... XD No, that's not right. Gravitation is not fanservice for all the hentai-yaoi-fangirls out there. It's a great series about a relationship between a novelist who never wants to love again and the pink-haired whirlwind who won't leave him alone, and they both happen to be guys. (wink)

Anyway... I'm done now. v.v

There is a _Phantom of the Opera_ reference in here. Cheesecake to you if you caught it. Next up will be the Valon-chapter, and you'll find out about this mysterious Sydney-incident. Duhduhduhduuun... Yeah, I'm really excited about the Valon-chapter. (bounces) Ish gonna be pretty good, I think. Much better than this chapter. (half-hearted sleepy glare)

Okay, I ramble. Good night, minna-san.


	3. To Escape From Yourself

**Disclaimer: **Once again, the chapter title comes from a Switchfoot song. This time it's from the song "Dare You To Move". FYI, the full lyric is "Maybe redemption has stories to tell/maybe forgiveness is right where you fell/where can you go to escape from yourself?"

**Authoress notes: **A word on Valon... They have not yet gotten to his past yet in the dub, and I dun have his past on imported DVD. Sooo... I haven't seen it. I learned the basics from a friend of mine – Valon was an orphan raised by some nuns in a church, and he was a wild child, getting into fights and such all the time. That night, Valon found the church aflame and saw these three punks who'd he'd met earlier, laughing about the fire. He got all pissed, thinking they'd done it, and started beating the crap out of 'em. Valon ended up getting sent to jail, and the reason why is not exactly clear. Possibly he killed the three guys he thought were responsible, but the more probable situation is that the four of them were sent to jail for supposedly setting the fire. 'Cause apparently, you could see the other three guys in jail in a few scenes.

Later on, Dartz ended up manipulating Valon into joining Doma, after he watched Valon win a bunch of duels using Orichalkos.

So...yeah. Like I said, we only know the basics. n.n; A lot of things were unanswered and not-gone-into, sooo... I took the liberty of answering and going into them myself! XD

Anyway...

I am kinda frustrated with people and a lot of things, and it's all being channeled into my writing. In other words, Valon's gonna end up more emotionally screwed up than was originally intentioned. And – ooh! – there's a shower scene in here. (wink) XD

Tis dedicated to everybody who's ever felt unloved or unwanted, or like you can't do anything right. Don't worry! We're all fumbling through the same dark tunnel!

...Okay, that was lame. I shut up now.

**&&&&**

It was late when the three finally arrived in Tokyo, so, rather than making the fairly long drive to Domino, the former soldiers opted instead to spend the night in a nearby hotel.

"I call the bathroom," Valon proclaimed quickly, as soon as they'd set foot in their room for the night. He went in, bag and all, and shut the door.

"I _told _him not to get that huge soda..."

"Shut it, Amelda!" came the muffled reply.

A moment later, they heard the shower running. Valon stood under the spray, cranking up the hot water. He was stiff and sore from all those hours on the plane and waiting in hard plastic chairs. The water eased his aching muscles, but it stung sharply the various cuts and bruises along his arms and torso. He hissed in pain, glad that no one could hear him.

Amelda, lying on one of the beds in the room, had the remote control in his hand. Not that he was really watching the television; it was simply something he was keeping his eyes on. He listened as the shower continued to run. "Is he trying to drown himself?" he muttered. He was inclined to be more sarcastic when he felt tired or otherwise found himself in a bad mood.

As if on cue, the shower shut off, and a moment later Valon emerged from the bathroom, shirt in hand, running a towel through his hair. "Hey, where's Raph?" he asked, looking around, as though expecting the other man to suddenly jump out of the closet or something.

Amelda turned to him, noting the slight tone of panic in the brunette's voice. "He's just looking for something to...eat...around here..." He trailed off, staring at Valon's bare torso.

Valon blinked, startled. "Oi, what're you staring at!?" But then he froze. Valon dropped the fluffy white towel on the floor and threw on his t-shirt, but Amelda had already seen the abrasions.

"Where did you get those?" Amelda said slowly.

"Nowhere," Valon shrugged, sitting on the edge of the other bed.

Amelda clicked off the television and rolled over on his side to face Valon, propping his elbow on the bed and resting his cheek in his hand. "Valon... What happened to you in Australia? You've been avoiding it, and Raphael's been letting you avoid it, but you can't run from it forever."

"I _know_ that, alright!?" Valon snapped, staring at his hands. He sighed.

"Going to Sydney was another of those stupid, unplanned things I do," he began suddenly. "I was all pissed off my first day there, because I realized I didn't have much money, and nowhere to go. Then I saw this gang, um, ganging up on this skinny runt of a kid. Unfair fights piss me off, and I was already pissed off enough already. I wanted a fight, so I jumped in and helped the kid out. His name was Johnny, and upon learning I didn't have anywhere else to go he invited me to his pad to meet _his_ gang. Who, he assured me, didn't pick unfair fights.

"I don't remember all their names... There was Mickey, and Kevin, and a bunch of others... Most of them were built like Raph. They looked like a gang you didn't wanna mess with. But they acted pretty decent towards me. We went out, and..." He sighed. "I'd never seen anybody do a tag-team fight like those guys. I... I thought you could only fight like that on TV, Amelda... See, Johnny was such a small kid, so people would underestimate him. He didn't have much in the way of sheer brute strength, but he was fast and agile. He'd be distracting you and you'd be trying to land a punch on him, and then Kevin or somebody would jump in and – boom – you were out." He sighed again. "I was happy with them... I thought I'd finally found some people who were like me, people I could be myself with... I thought I'd found some real friends."

"But, something happened..." Amelda offered. By now he was sitting cross-legged on the bed, watching the brunette. Valon nodded.

"It was late at night, two or three in the morning, I think. They shook me awake, and told me to get dressed and come on. Something about their tones were different... They sounded...mocking, I guess. I was just too groggy to figure out something was probably up. I said, 'Hey, guys, where are we going?' They just turned at me and smirked. So were walking along... And I never saw it coming... but somebody kicked me in the stomach, hard, and I fell over... And they _laughed_." By now, Valon spoke in a complete monotone.

"Then somebody else crouched next to me and ran their hands through my hair. That same somebody said 'Ohh, did that hurt your tummy?' like he was talking to a little kid, and he reached out and put his hand up my shirt... Without warning, he grabbed my shoulders and shoved me to the ground, crouching over me. He licked his lips, and his hand strayed over to my hip..."

Amelda's eyes were huge. Valon would've laughed, if he could've. "Did they... Did he...?" Amelda couldn't quite finish.

"No, they didn't rape me, if that's what you're getting to," Valon offered. A smirk twisted his features. "'Cause then Johnny goes, 'Wait, we're not done with him yet. Wait a little longer, and then you can have him.' T-that hurt the most," Valon said suddenly, the monotone dissipating from his voice as it cracked. "He... couldn't care less. And he just said it... They just said it like I wasn't even there...

"The rest was kind of a blur. They just dragged me along after that, beating on me when they wanted to. We got to some building after a little while; it was some kind of store, I guess. They pointed to his window and told me I was supposed to go in there – Johnny didn't have enough force to break in, and the other guys were too big to fit through the window. Me, I was perfect. They broke the window, and there was glass showering everywhere... I guess that's how I got cut the most. I was halfway through, I guess, when we heard the sirens."

**_Flashback_**

The gang was long gone. Valon tried to shout, or run, but he couldn't. He was too tired. He heard a car door slam and sharp footfalls echo behind him. A hand was placed on his back, grabbing a bunch of the fabric of his shirt and pulling him sharply backwards. He landed on his back on the pavement, gasping as the impact sent a shock through his battered body.

A policeman stood over him.

Valon's eyes widened and he tried to scream, but everything was going black, and the blackness was so inviting...

Whenhe came too, he was lying on a small bed, in a plain white room. At first he thought possibly he was in the hospital, but the orange jumpsuit he was wearing told him otherwise.

"Oh, you're awake."

Next thing Valon knew, he was being led roughly down a bunch of hallways. He watched the rows of metal bars pass him for a while, until that made him too dizzy. So he simply stared at the floor.

The guard pushed him into a cell, locking it securely behind Valon. He stood for a moment, still staring at the floor.

He had a cellmate – a man lying on the top bunk. Valon tried not to tremble. He couldn't show his fear...

Valon slowly shuffled to the bottom bunk and sat on it. He scooted to the very corner and curled up as tight as he could, leaning against the wall.

"Ya scared, kid?" came the growl from above him, and he could practically see the poison smirk on the man's face. "Don't be... We're all friends here, you know?"

Valon said nothing, beginning to shake.

_Somebody cursed. "It's the cops... come on, **move it**! ... Just leave him there. Yeah, that's right... Thanks, Valon, for all your help. You're a great friend." Laughter. _

"_You're going to die. You almost killed us... We'll kill you, and call it even... What, are you going to run crying for your mommy? Not so tough here, are ya, kid..."_

Valon clapped his hands over his ears; at the same time biting his lip so hard he nearly drew blood.

The prisoner on the top bunk grew bored with his unresponsive prey, and fell silent.

Valon took a shaky breath and buried his head in his arms. He wanted to cry, or scream, or beat someone up, or maybe a combination of all three.

'I want to go home,' he thought desperately.

'But...' interrupted a voice in the back of his head. 'You don't have a home. That's right... I know you remember. Your parents... They couldn't stand you. Nor could the nuns at the church. Not even Amelda and Raphael cared about you. The gang hated you from the beginning.'

'I...I could never do anything right...'

'And you still can't...'

'Why...why did they abandon me?'

It was a question he'd asked himself many times as a child – why had his parents abandoned him? Why was he an orphan? He came up with many different stories; they varied depending on his mood. For example, if someone was reprimanding him, his parents had abandoned him because they didn't want him.

Valon didn't know why, but he'd never been able to get used to being scolded so often. The nuns were never particularly harsh, but every time he'd feel unwanted and alone, and he'd go sulk until dinnertime.

Possibly he was like that because he had no parents, and no clue _why_ he had no parents.

Sometimes, if his mood was good, the stories had a happier note to them. He smiled to himself remembering his favorite reason why his parents were gone.

His parents were spies – masters of the art of espionage. They had many enemies, but never allowed themselves to be caught. However, when they'd had their son, they knew their enemies must never know of him, lest he be exploited as his parents' weakness. So, they'd left him on the church's doorstep, until one day when things were safe. Then they would return and pluck their son from the church, and the three of them would have lovely adventures as spies.

Of course, things had never happened like that.

He remembered the last time he'd been in prison, the arsonists locked in the cell next to his, whispering graphic threats.

Well, so they weren't arsonists. It had all been Dartz's doing, he knew that.

Dartz...he hated that man, and everything he'd done.

But most of all, right now, he hated Amelda and Raphael, because they, like all the others, had abandoned him.

**&&&&**

Raphael stalked through the streets of Sydney, looking for someone who could possibly know where Valon was.

"Hey, excuse me," he paused, noticing a man in black wearing sunglasses.

The man looked up at Raphael, surprised. "You talkin' to me?"

"Yeah... I'm looking for someone."

The man reached up and perched his sunglasses on the top of his head. "Mmkay... What's this bloke look like?"

Raphael paused. "He's about in his twenties... He's a little small, and he's got brown hair and blue eyes... You seen him?"

The man thought for a minute. "Yeah... I think I've seen him. Walking around with his hands in his pockets, all hunched over. Sort-of a sad lookin' guy."

"D-do you know where he was going?" Raphael asked slowly.

The man shook his head. "But, ya know... I saw this police car go by, in the same direction your friend went in. And I've been hearing rumors about this kid with a weird accent getting arrested... From what I can tell, it was a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong t-"

But Raphael was already long gone.

**&&&&**

Valon wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting there in the corner like that, head buried in his arms.

But suddenly there was the loud chink of the door being opened, and he felt someone pulling at his arm. "C'mon, kid. Somebody's bailed you out."

Valon stared up at the guard currently attempting to rouse him from his catatonic state. Someone... had come for him?

He went through another maze of hallways, and then he saw, signing some papers of some sort...

"Raphael..." The name came out in a hoarse whisper. Then someone shoved his bag at him, and he was following Raphael out in a daze.

The door opened, and there was sunlight, glorious sunlight, embracing him and kissing his face. He stood there a moment, his mind beginning to clear, when Raphael's sharp voice echoed behind him.

"You were trying to rob a store, huh?"

Valon turned in surprise, noting with discomfort the way Raphael's arms were folded to his chest. He shook his head. "Raph, it's not like that..."

"We needed that money, you know," Raphael continued sternly, "in order to find Amelda."

Valon's jaw dropped. "Oh... I see how it is." He closed his mouth again. "You've always got along better with him than with me, so I guess it makes sense." His head snapped up, and he stared at Raphael. "Don't help me because you feel obligated to! If I don't matter to you, then fine, but don't come here and freakin' _rub it in my face_!" He whirled around and began to run. If he'd looked back, he would've seen a stunned Raphael watching him go.

**&&&&**

'Wait a minute...' a voice in Raphael's head spoke up. 'That's not right... You're not supposed to watch him go...'

Raphael broke into a run after Valon almost as soon as the brunette had disappeared from sight.

'What were you _thinking_!?' he continued to berate himself. 'You remember how he acted when you all got your souls stolen – he was practically hysterical! Did it ever occur to you that maybe he didn't _want_ to go to jail? That he's _grateful_ to you for buying his freedom? But then you had to go and mix up your words and now he thinks you hate him. Valon isn't the idiot this time...It's you.'

It wasn't very long before he found Valon sitting at a dock, his knees drawn to his chest, head buried in his arms. Raphael slowed to a stop and took a deep breath. He'd been running almost nonstop. The blond settled himself on the dock next to Valon, who didn't acknowledge the other's presence.

"Valon, I... I'm sorry..." Raphael couldn't remember the last time he'd been so insecure. He sighed. "I suppose... When I found you... I was relieved, that you weren't harmed... And I was surprised, that I'd found you so quickly... I-I know it doesn't excuse what I said to you, but please try to understand..."

Valon turned slowly to him, and Raphael was shocked at the pain he wasn't even trying to hide. "I thought I was going to _die_ in there," he burst out suddenly, leaning over and burying his head in Raphael's shoulder.

Raphael was even more shocked at the contact, but he didn't pull away.

"If you hated me too," Valon mumbled into Raphael's arm, "I dunno what I'd do..."

"What do you mean?" Raphael asked. "What really happened, Valon?"

Valon sat up and looked at Raphael. He sighed, and told the story.

_**End flashback**_

"So, I told him about what happened, and then we went to find you. I think you know the rest," Valon finished. Amelda was silent.

"That gang..." he said in a dangerously low tone, staring intensely at the bedspread. "What they did is unforgivable..."

Valon was taken aback. Amelda was this angry... on his behalf? The brunette was at a loss for words. But then he smiled. "Oh, I dunno about that. People do a lot of stupid things... What goes around, comes around," he said sagely. "I'm not saying I hope they get raped or beat up or anything, but maybe someday they'll know what it's like to be the one who's at the bottom." He looked up at Amelda and grinned. "Hey, maybe they'll repent, too. Like we did."

Now it was Amelda's turn to be at a loss for words.

A moment later Raphael entered the room, a pizza box in hand, and the other two suspected the blond had been standing outside for a while, listening in on the conversation.

Two hours and a large pepperoni later, the three were still awake. They'd been talking about nothing and everything, despite the fact that their minds were screaming for sleep. There was a lull in the conversation, and the three bikers began to drift into blissful unconsciousness.

'_I... I'm glad I went to find them..._'

'_Maybe... what happened wasn't all my fault..._'

'_Yup... I got friends now..._'

'_It's good to be home._'

**&&&&**

**Closing notes: **Hahah... Done. The ending is weird. Oh well. Man...I had a whole can of Dr. Pepper this afternoon. Why am I so sleepy!? The caffeine has betrayed me...

Alrighties... Yes, I like how this one came out. Only now Amelda and Raphael are out for my head after what I did to Valon. (whistles innocently)

Now that I got this done, what should I write next? Hmm...

Weird thing I learned today - there's a real-live actual biker gang whose 'territory' is my town. o.o;

Now then...review, onegai?


End file.
